It's been one year of blogging at kimmiee.com did i mention how psyched i am about the new year?
a new start, thats what i desperately need now. no turning back on year2007.
because 2007 was a rather shitty one. with many heartbreaks and crying.
damn i feel so foolish right now. to believe everything would work out. i gave it one last shot a few mins ago. but was faced with disappointment in the replies.
so from the strike of midnight, i'm not gonna give 2hoots about it anymore.
So Merry New Year people! may ya'll have a fresh new start like i am.
when all the fun has come and gone. when you're being forced to face reality, then maybe you'll realise all the harm and damage that you did. and know how some things are irreversible.
watched the bestf eat this at some hongkong cafe, and i felt full already. How can anyone LOVEEEE CHEESE baked rice? That you see cost a total of $12.30.
isn't this really cute? A Christmas home-made cookie from Daniel's mom.
I feel rather weird today. Maybe it's because i've not been eating well. But i can't help being not hungry.
Surprisingly i was rather calm today, not much crying and i'm proud of myself. I have tons of things on my mind right now, but for the first time in weeks i felt peace. Really sad, but i'm peaceful.
I found out he likes someone else. an IJ girl. How do i know? because i'm smarter than he thinks i am. yes it breaks my heart. But i guess people do change :)
3years passed...
i became too mature to type :)s in every smses. i don't look as cute anymore in my uniform and ponytail. and because of problems i face, i'm not as happy go lucky as i used to.
why does life have to be so hard? why does love never go the right way? why do things never get solved even by communication? why do people have to fucking change? why do i have to be so damn soft hearted? why do i still want it so fucking badly? why can't i just kick you away?
Went to Daniel's house. Cried for 9hours. And i think i cried myself a fever.
I wouldn't say it turned out good, neither will i say it turned out negatively. He cried for the first time in a long while. and my heart ached, so badly today, when i gave him the longest hug ever.
My goodness! I just joined Facebook today. and i find it rather ridiculous!
There is too many things going on, too many functions. Like you could throw sheeps and one another, and virtually spank and bite one another. Call me WOLS but I've just started to get bored enough to join something new.
Yes, despite it being very fun and all but it's too complicating don't cha think? I mean, yeah, its fun for a while, but do you see yourself throwing Santa or a Fish at your friends a year down the road?
Well, i guess i shouldn't be so critical about it so soon. Maybe i'd be so obsessed with spanking people and biting them while i'm at it. Maybe i'll throw a fish a day at my friends. Or maybe i could SuperPoke when im bored, or disturb everyone with a mass poke.
Haha, i better not get started on that. Man, that really cracked me up.
Well, it's weird to be blogging at such an unearthly hour. So i better get some eye shut. I've got a big big mission to accomplish later in the morning.
And I hate how much I love you boy I can't stand how much I need you And I hate how much I love you boy But I just can't let you go And I hate that I love you so
*****
i'm not giving up unless you tell me to, right in my face. I love you with all my heart baby
It's such a warm festival. celebrated by the majority. What is Christmas actually?
Some believe it's the day that Christ Jesus was born. But some beg to defer, thus celebrating Christmas on 6 January, using some Julian Calendar, i've heard.
But whatever the heck, though I'm not a Christian, nor a Catholic, the Christmas season is a time when i feel the warmest. But not as warm and loving as it was when I was in the States 4years back.
My dad's American friends rented a house up in the mountains, where it was snowing everywhere. The Christmas tree was humongous and brightly litted up, the people were all so warm and friendly, and the weather... it was cold, but not too cold to go outside and play. Damn, that cold air was just perfect for the season.
Looking back, that must have cost a fortune, with all that extravagant dining. There were cartons and cartons of beer in the fridge. Americans just can't live without their booze.
I cannot remember much about specific details. But however, i do remember getting a splinter in my finger while running my hand through the wooden hand rail.
That was my Christmas spent in the year 2001.
in 2005, the eve of Christmas, I met Daniel at Raffles City where he was Christmas shopping alone. He came out and surprised me with a Citigems necklace, Perlini's silver bracelet and earrings.
Took a train down to his Aunt's really big house for dinner. It was a really awkward one because it was my first time ever meeting them, and everyone was practically staring at me. Then we went town to meet Jas and Xueting.
Inital plan was just to walk and see the lights, but then it got pretty crowded and people were spraying us with those foamy snow. So we got a bunch of aerosol cans ourselves and started attacking the bangalas and little bengs and lians.
that was the first time i ever had so much fun out on the streets.
in 2006, eve of Christmas, i kinda forgot what i did before hitting town. but i remember spending the night out with lizhi and yZ.
we ate Mac, walked around till 5.30am when the first train started.
this year, 2007, I spent Christmas in the comfort of my own home. Because i'm sick and having the runs. And i'm kinda too down to go out. So i wouldn't say its the best Christmas but i won't say its the worse either. (:
borrowed from dantok.com August 2005. 2years back.
********* Friday, August 26, 2005
Listening to : Dishwalla - Angels and Devils
Thinking about what i`ve said. I don't know if i should really blog my heart out once again. I don't wish to scold you or anything. You should know who i`m talking about. i might have already guessed that you were asking me something that you knew. that's why in the end. i told you. I felt guilt in my heart. Seriously, i do. And the last few days i haven't been myself. i`m sure you can tell since the day you met me the other day. for the past few days. i`ve been really bothered. seriously, bothered to the extent that i`m going bonkers. I`m depressed to the extend i do not know what i`m going to do with my life.
I can't decide. i can't find what to do. i`ve been making super stupid decisions that i might have already regretted. i`ve made so many mistakes, i`ve lost count. I don't wish to lie to you at all dear. I`m going to spur everything out here. I`ve tried to hide it.But i just can't no more. i`ve decided i`m going to stop this nonsense. and be the person who i used to be. I`m not me anymore.
After reading your blog, i looked back at myself, and i don't think i know who i am anymore. I`ve given in to temptation so much. I do not know what i am doing anymore. I don't even know my own self. It's 2 more days to 6 months. and it's the longest relationship that has ever existed in my life. i just want you to know. from now on. i`m going to tell you everything once again. i know i used to always. But sometimes. sigh. i don't know what i`m doing. When you reach my age. you`ll know the type of peer pressure you`ll be recieving. same goes with the urge for you to club after your prom night. i don't wish to see us part at all. though it seems that we are parting somehow. My phone calls to you have been cut down. i don't message you. things like that. i know they are happening. Somehow, i wish i could turn the clock back and change my mistakes. but what is done is done. i will not brood on the past. but what i can say is. i`ll will do my best in my power to change, change for the better and make this work out the way it should.
I`m really sorry that i have to put this kind of pressure on you. You don't need this kind of nonsense from a person like me. I`m stupid, useless, and unwanted. you think my parents really can stand me? making all the stupid decisions. doing stupid things. making the wrong choices. i`ve been self centered since day one. i don't know why but i know it sucks. and sometimes, in the process to make things work. i screwed up. I don't know what my heart is telling me to write. but i`ll just write. I`m going to burst in to tears just as well. Imagining the day i part with you, i can't imagine what would i do. Break down in tears? sit down at the corner. Be depressed all week. i don't know. i do not wish to see that day at all.
But i must let you know. If you want to leave me, i truely understand your reasons. i`ve been a shit bastard all along. seriously i am. always thinking i`m right. i`m never wrong. it took me that long to see that. sigh. i`m really sorry for all the stupid replies i gave you. i guess i just cracked. i really don't know what to do.
Please give me a call or message or something. i really miss you dear. sigh. =(. i will be looking forward to your carling, remember one thing. my love for you is everlasting. No one will share the same love we have shared. And nothing will ever change that. love you darling. =(
******
that was how sweet my baby used to be. every post brought me to tears. just like how this one did.
why do things have to turn out like that? :'(
things happened at a spur of anger. no one meant the things they said. it will all be forgotten as time goes by.
if you trust me when i say it will be okay. if you trust me when i say things will be back to normal, you wouldn't leave.
what happened to your fighting spirit baby? this is just a really small incident, meant to be waved off. but you just said you want out.
i'm willing to put it all behind me if you're willing to.
i miss you very much. and i hope you wont just leave like that.
oh yes. do you love that big ass photo of me? WAHAHA
Merry Christmas in advance people:)
**********
i wanna dye my hair jet black! im so sick of the roots growing out as i'm a rather lazy person. I find it a chore to go to the salon to dye my hair. Yes, i'm rather much a pampered ass.
My love wasn't strong enough to make him realise anything. But yet i still tried, I can't believe I went all the way to let myself feel so shitty about myself.
I'm a huge failure, okay, i'm admitting it. No matter how many "I Love You"s i cried out, no matter how much tears i cried, He's been as firm as a rock.
People say i deserve better. But am i foolish to say i don't want to? Am i too stubborn when i say i want nobody but you?
How much more can you ask for? How much more can i give?
What would become of me if i persist on? How would i manage if i give up?
caught the National Treasure: Book of Secrets yesterday. and man its good. it was full house at the cinema.
Nicolas Cage seems to make an impact on every action show he does. just like how he did in Next. He may look like crap but somehow his roles made him almost hot with a great personality.
How do I breathe Without you here by my side How will I see When Your love brought me to the light Where do I go When your hearts where I lay my head When your not with me How do I breathe
call me foolish, call me childish, call me wishful.
say im living in denial. but baby,
i don't care who approves the relationship i don't care who witnesses the wedding. i don't care who condemns us. i don't care if you're broke or if i am. i don't care if i have to move out to make our lives a better one.
i will do it all because i love you more than i love myself.
When you think: Tim McGraw, Ihope you think my favorite song The one we danced to all night long: The moon like a spotlight on the lake
When you think happiness, I hope you think: "That little black dress" Think of my head on your chest, An' my old faded blue jeans When you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think of me
poor doggie's been having a lack of sleep as he tries to catch every wink he can without being smothered by anyone. because of the chaos going on in the house.
my poor baby needs at least 15hours of sleep a day but only gets about 8 now.
nothing beats heaven other than a warm yummy staff supper after work. Of all things, it's my all-time favourite dish.
Work hasn't been that bad, time passes faster now. I think its a matter of whether i want to devote my time to it. While serving customers today, somehow i feel real good satisfaction.
Caught Enchanted 2weeks ago. and it wasn't the least bit disappointing.
The evil Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon) becomes fearful of losing her kingdom of Andalasia to her stepson Prince Edward (James Marsden), should he ever find true love. When Edward suddenly announces his wedding with newfound beauty Giselle (Amy Adams), the wrathful sorceress throws her into a wishing well that transports her to present-day Manhattan.
Completely contrary to the carefree, song-and-dance lifestyle of her colorful, happy home, Giselle is greeted with skepticism and unkind faces in New York as she desperately tries to seek help returning to her castle. Prince Edward learns of her disappearance, and jumps down the wishing well himself, aided by footservant Nathaniel to rescue his true love.
Giselle meets Robert, the only one who is amicable enough to help her, but he quickly finds that her cartoon-fantasy lifestyle is destroying the stability of his big-city life. When Queen Narissa discovers that Giselle is dangerously close to rescue, she visits New York herself to ensure that she’ll never return to the magical kingdom of Andalasia.
the movie's a combination of :
Cinderella, in the marriage that was suppose to happen before she was pushed down the well. Snow White, when she hummed her tune to get the small forest animals to help clean up the house. Sleeping Beauty, when she was saved from the poison apple by her one true love's kiss.
my sister intro-ed me this music video by Carrie Underwood. i dont really go youtubing but this video's really nice.
Name: kimmiee Home: Hougang, Singapore About Me: A girl like no other. Hear her laughs and tears, learning as much as she can along the way. See my complete profile
